In this particular post, I want to share the ups and downs of my life during my second year of studies. This is personally my point of view toward my life. Its how I felt at that moment. So, if YOU (the one that happen to read this) is one of people that exist around me and you don’t felt the same as mine, it is up to you. Because that is from your perspective. Okay? Happy reading (psstt.. It is a long essay>_<).
First semester session 2016/2017
My result for the previous semester was quite okay. I managed to increase my CGPA. Alhamdulillah. For the first 2 to 3 weeks of the semester, I stayed outside of the campus, so when I got home I will go straight to my bed. I will ignore everyone else. Because I’m already tired with class that start at 8 am and end at 6 pm. Arrived home at 7 pm. So what you expect? Hahahaha.. because my housemate kept talking on my back. ‘Nina tu memang sombong eh? Tak pernah pun nak datang borak-borak lepak-lepak kat luar ni dengan kitorang’. LOL
I think I couldn’t adapt with that kind of schedule. All the subjects starting to kill me. I really couldn’t focus in the class. I start to play with my phone. But swear I never slept in class. Okay, I don’t sleep in class. I skip classes. There are incident that eventually happen and make me skip classes and all. I would not do it for no reason. (ayat cover line sangat). End up, one subject failed. So kids, never skip class and don’t play with you’re phone.
Second semster session 2016/2017
I try very hard to focus on my study and prioritized them. But at this moment I still got other commitment (college’s project). There are times that I still don’t have enough time to study. And for the first time in my life I got stress because I want to study but I cant. I couldn’t believed myself. Like wOw! The everything gotten easier I guess. Or I’m the one getting stronger. I passed all the subjects. CGPA increased. A little bit. But still proud of me. (Tap shoulder, wipes tear huhuhu).
After my appeal to stay in college (KK5) was accepted, I got an offer to be a treasurer for a project (FOC). So I accept the offer hoping that I could learn many thing from that. And YES. I learn a lot of things. Including betrayal. Sad but true. I think I’ve done a very good job as a treasurer but of course with a lot of rintangan. I got full support from the Felo (Mr. See) and the director of FOC (Syuk). They teach me a lot, scolded me a lot, rejected my work a lot, advised me a lot. But hey, that is learning. When I make mistake, they correct me with kindness and respect. They give me advised and right to make decision.
But well of course, cute little girl like me got haterssssss. Saying I’m not good enough. Embarrassing me in public and all. Yet, Syuk (our director) always always always told me “You’re done your best. don’t get angry to them. Just let them be. Forgive and forget”. They keep talking bad about me even till now.
In the first semester, I don’t really close to my roommates. Maybe because I don’t spend much time in my room. So the three of them are quite close to each other. Kindda jealous. But it is not their fault. We gotten closer in second semester. And I really appreciated them. Couldn’t got any better roommates. If I got test the next day, they will stay up and study with me. Always encourage each other to study. The most popular saying in the room is “stop when you’re done, rest when you’re tired”. I love you guys.
And I also felt that I lost most of my friends during that year. I don’t know. Maybe it is just me that felt that way. But when I’m down and stressed I realized I don’t really have anyone near me. All my closed friends are just not there. Some of them are not in the same college as mine, some are busy with their partner, some just went missing. At this point, I felt lost, lonely, alone, and I started to avoid people. I avoid meeting my friends, avoid talking to anyone. Because at that moment I felt betrayed. When I was at the very bottom of my life where have you guys been. We do meet up but I just share what happen during the day and not sharing all those heart thing.
After all, people come and go. Whatever. At least I got this one long lost friend that put a lot of patient in me as I put all the story of my life to him. LOL. Mohon tabah. Thank you very much as you were with me.
Moral of the story
1. I learned to be independent. You should too. Then you will appreciate yourself more.
2. I learned to love myself before other. If you’re not going to love yourself, the who will? If you got a boyfriend or girlfriend, good for you. But how can you guarantee that the love you receive from others will last long?
3. Accepted good and bad moment in your life with an open heart. If it is a nice sweet moment, then cherish it. If not, it is part of your experiences where you learn new thing. You become stronger after all.
4. Prioritized the priority. Set your goal in your life and go toward it. Make sure you know which is your priority.
5. Speak the right thing to the right person. Malaysian, women, basically got lots of misunderstanding due to lack of communication. Sometimes, over communicate but in a wrong way.